dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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