This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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