she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
