I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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