I am midnight drunk by noon
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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