his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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