i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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