this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This is my gift to your gina
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
