Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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