So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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