Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
