just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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