I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize