I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Princesses don't give blow jobs
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
