I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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