I just made out with a guy for $7.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we're making bets on your personal life
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
