I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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