Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
did i just pee glitter
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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