Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
