He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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