i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
and you fell through a lawn chair
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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