The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
