i permit you to call me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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