Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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