Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
