i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
