WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my being single is dangerous.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
