SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
