his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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