Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
