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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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