I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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