it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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