I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
did i just pee glitter
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
