a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
