Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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