So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
