i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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