the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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