3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
