I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize