you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize