Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
