would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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