I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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