Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
dude. I can hear the air.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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