He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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