Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
