Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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