You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
