the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
