I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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