YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
