Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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