It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
