I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize